Stay Beautiful

"Oh, how beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!"

Song of Songs 4:1

Prepare for more sappy words of encouragement. 

I've mentioned before that I'm doing my senior project on photography. I love it! It's a challenge and a fun way to meet new people. {I love people.} 

Since starting my project, I've been noticing pictures in a different way than before. I've been paying especially close attention to the pictures of famous actors, actresses, and models on the covers of magazines. 

You know what I noticed? They always look perfect. They don't have acne. Their hair is voluminous (a great word). Their make-up is killer. And they definitely don't have that extra layer of plumpness hanging around their stomach.

Let's all be honest. At some point, we have all felt bad or wished we could change something about our bodies. But why? It's because we set our standards high and compare ourselves to those people on the front of magazines (you may have even done it subconsciously... trippy).

Well, here's a secret. [Actually, you probably already know this, but just play along because I'm trying to be encouraging and such]. They're fake. They have a team of people who work on them for hours to help them achieve that "perfect look". Before that, they've spent days, weeks, and months in the gym with personal trainers and at home watching what they eat. To top it all off, after their picture is taken, people go in with fancy editing software to touch up the imperfections they couldn't fix (those things that happen naturally to your body like wrinkles and creases). {I'm not saying every model, actor, or actress is like that, but in general, that seems to be the case.}

I've been doing a lot of research on the pressure teenagers feel to fit in with the standards, because that's what I decided to write my research paper about. It was easy for me to see how true all of it was, because, well, I'm a teenager, and I'm living it!

Short Story About Myself (that relates to this topic): I never really concerned myself with what I ate. I was always active enough with various sports to the point where I really didn't care. Last spring, something changed. I don't know what it was, but everything just hit me. I started worrying about what I ate and really watching things a lot more. Let me tell you, that sucked. I was constantly concerned with eating too much. I worked out all the time, too. I was probably doing abut 200 crunches a day. It was pretty bad. I wasn't anorexic or bulimic, but I was overly obsessed with my diet. Since then, I've gone back to eating normally, but it's been harder for me to control cravings and not feel guilty after eating a lot.

With all that being said, however, I've come to realize how essential it is to be happy with yourself. There's nothing wrong with setting goals and trying to be better; it becomes a problem when you make yourself feel bad and obsess over it.

It's so easy for us to feel bad about the way we look and to feel pressured to look a certain way. 

So, here's my advice:

1. Don't worry about everyone else.
2. Love yourself! (how cliche)
3. Accept your beauty.
4. [insert other corny statements that are completely true, and incredibly hard to accept]

Seriously, though, it's hard sometimes feeling like you're beautiful, especially when you're surrounded by so many other beautiful people. But, you have to stop looking for faults in yourself. Stop focusing on negative things.

As Taylor Swift once said...

P.S. I have mad respect for you if you actually read this whole thing. A lot of it was written for my own, personal encouragement, but I hope you got something out of it, too (even if it was girly, sappy, and cliche).

A Relationship.

It's not a religion. It's a relationship.

I've said that a million times about being Christian. I truly believe that's the major difference between Christianity and other religions. I feel something. There is someone there listening to me and helping. I have a relationship with God.

So, as promised in Prayer in Islam, here are my thoughts on religion, specifically Christianity.

I'll start with my testimony. {I don't like that word. It sounds to "church-y". Story. Story is a better word for it.}

I was baptized as a baby. I went to a Christian school for about 11 years. I was part of my church's choir and youth. I went through confirmation. I attended church camp. I DID IT ALL. But, I didn't get it. I wasn't feeling the relationship or connection with God that everyone talked about. To be honest, I really did not understand what it truly meant to be a Christian.

The summer after my sophomore year, I went to France to live with a family for three weeks [I'll write about that experience]. I've never been one to get really homesick, but let me tell you, knowing that you family is 4,383 miles away is scary. I cried every single night for the first week I was there. I was overwhelmed and alone. I began doing something I hadn't done for years; I prayed.

I'd prayed plenty of times before, but this time I really prayed. I talked to God.

When I got home from France, things began to change. Not dramatically,  but slowly, over a series of several months. Jonathan and Lisa Moore came to our church. Lisa became my mentor and helped me to realize what it truly means to be Christian. We read through the book of John to explore Jesus' life. We went to Souled Out Winter, where I really felt God moving in me. They made me a part of the leadership team for The Corner Youth. I woke up earlier to have my quiet time, and I fell asleep praying. My day began and ended with my relationship with God. Things didn't become magically perfect. I certainly still make plenty of mistakes. I'm no where near perfect, and I never will be. [It took me a while to grasp that.]

So, where am I now?

I'll be completely honest (because you, my beautiful blog readers, deserve that). I haven't been going to youth. I haven't been having quiet time. I haven't been praying at night. I certainly have not given up my religion, I've really just drifted away from my church, which was my main supporter and motivator for doing all of those things. What happened?

• This summer got super busy. I was out of town, working, and hanging out with friends. I simply wasn't around to go to church.
• They began talking about things I didn't really agree with or understand. For example, the Bible says that divorce, sex before marriage, and homosexuality are all wrong, but for whatever reason people have decided that divorce is actually okay. I don't understand how we can justify some things, and still condemn others. {It's something I still think about. I don't know what my position on those issues are.}
• My friends began doubting and questioning things. I have wonderful friends who are definitely my role models for religion. They noticed the same things I did and began investigating religion more. Everyone goes through a phase where they question the things they've always held to be true (Enlightenment, ya know?).
• It became a competition and our church grew. My youth group started a competition. The object of the game was to get people from our church or those who don't have a youth group to start coming to church. After going to the first day of the LIFE (that's what it's called) though, I realized I knew less than half of the people around me. I was also surprised to see how different our youth room looked. I don't like feeling obligated to go to church, not because I'm missing out on worshiping, but because I fee like I'm letting my team down. It shouldn't be about that.
• The message was the same- "If you don't know Jesus, raise your hand and say this prayer." What about the rest of us? The ones who have already accepted Jesus. It's important to tell people about Jesus and explain to them what it means to be Christian, otherwise they're just saying an empty prayer. They're repeating the words put into their month while peaceful music plays in the background and a pastor tells them about how great their life will be after they just say this quick prayer. Well, here's the truth. It doesn't work like that. You have to believe it. You have to live it.

I feel like a lot of people just don't really get what it really means to be Christian (maybe I don't either, but this is my interpretation). I just want people to know what it's really like to be Christian. It's a lifestyle. It isn't just saying a prayer. It's not about judging others for their actions. It's about accepting people. It's about learning from your mistakes. Being Christian is having a purpose in life.

I definitely haven't given up on my relationship with God. The whole reason I'm a Christian is because I feel something. I know that no matter what, God will be there to help. 

I've realized that I shouldn't feel pressured into a church atmosphere. I can have a relationship with God without doing all of that. I'm at a point where I'm deciding my postition on different issues and giving those decisions up to God. Everyone has to make their own decisions with God. I believe you can do that and still have a relationship with God.

The relationship I have with God isn't the same as everyone else's. It's a relationship! They can't all possibly be the same.

So, this is my religion, my relationship, and my life.

i have a blog.

I HAVE A BLOG. 

Why do I have a blog? That is a very good question. I guess there could be a lot of answers. I really just need to feel like I'm doing something, and I like to think this will keep entertained for a while. We'll see.

I don't really know what I'm going to write about on this blog yet. Let's just call it spontaneity. I'll try to keep up with it though. I'll just write down whatever I'm thinking.

Now that we can all see I have no idea what I'm doing, let's talk about me for a second (that seems like a thing people do when they get blogs). Don't worry. I won't talk for long.

• I was born in February, National Chocolate Month.
• I get really excited about things (birthdays, blogs, etc.)
• I'm interested in a million different things, so I have no idea what I want to do. I'm beginning to realize it's okay not to have a plan (like this blog, for example).
• I always have a plan. Refer to the bullet above this. 
• Sometimes I work out. Sometimes I eat my whole kitchen.
• I like to think I'm talkative and fun. I can be pretty moody sometimes though (sorry, I'm a teenage girl).
• I need to do my homework...

Alright, talking about myself is more difficult than I expected.

I HAVE A BLOG. 

So, to my 2.5 readers, I hope you enjoy this. It may end up being a collection of my random thoughts. Maybe I'll actually write something worth reading. I'll probably even post a few pictures along the way. The goal is to just document my life (or something in it) at least once a day. My life gets kind of crazy sometimes though, but SPONTANEITY. 


Wish me luck!